~ 10th June 2012, Marco & QiQi Wedding ~

So happy to get to know that friends are getting married, and thanks Marco for inviting me to go his wedding dinner. Never expect that he still remembers the old time in Uni, where I always share the assignments and homework to him, haha.. and he said to me this, "dun have u n pei wen, may b i cant graduate from UPM". The time he told me this, I felt so being appreciated. 

Thank you Marco~ and Congratulation to u and ur lovely wife~ wish you two Happy ever after~

And I'm happy to get around with ex-coursemates, although we do not have much topics to talk, but I happy to see u all (^^)

Leave this all behind...

Looking back those photos taken last 2 years.... we were so happy those days....
maybe i still cannot get thru this.. the question still inside my head... why our friendship will become like this?
I have no idea what friendship meant to them... but day by day... i feel that we are really not important to them... not even a little...
although we lived so near, although we met each other almost every weekdays, but there's no interaction between us...
Don't tell me bout the bullshit reason where we shld be the 1 who ask for going out dinner, who be the 1 talk first... all these just seems not right to me any more...
Everyone changing... changing everyday.... life is cruel....
so please, move forward, myself... stop being cruel to myself... leave all these meaningless things behind....
I keep telling myself this... I hope it works...
just pray for the pain to go away and start my happy life again...
dun wish to see myself smiling but something missing in my soul...
Be tough!

Year 2012, 4.28!

Today 4.28....
Felt so touched when saw a lots of ppl sharing news about BERSIH 3.0 thru facebook....
It's time to change... to a brighter n better future of Malaysia~
Support! Support!
glad that our people made the move....it's so touching...

想想。。。这也很有道理。。。

当你喜欢一个人的时候，你只会看到他的优点。。。因为你总是害羞地在他身旁偷偷地望他。。。从旁欣赏他。。。而你从不发现你看见的只是他的这一边。。。

当两人走在一起时，你才渐渐地发现他的缺点。。。因为现在你们不再像以前那样从旁边细细地欣赏对方。。。而是面对面地相处，正面的交集。。。

可能以前你看到的他是多么多么的帅，多么多么的有风度。。。但现在你可能看到的是他的塌鼻子，小眼睛，大嘴巴。。。

想想也觉得可笑。。。

人，就是这样的吗？

何不再回到以前那个角度去看对方？这不是更开心吗？

原来有些人是喜欢幼稚兼一点点智障的女人喔。。。

那就不要每天讲别人幼稚啦！

还要是喜欢讲话没经过大脑的女人，自以为她超漂亮（其实美过她的人大有人在！），每天只会骂人家“贱格”的女人！

亏你认为你自己很有眼光，真的“恭喜”你找到人间极品！

It's has been a tough few years for my mum....

God, please stop torturing her....

please stop the pain....

please stop taking away those tat we treasure from us....

Don't blame others for what happened....
Our friendship is not strong enough to go thru all these....
It's not that the others have the powers to attract you away, it's not that the others did anything to make us apart, it's not that the others offered you a better treat, it's not that the others have better "benefits" or anything....
It's JUST that our friendship is so FRAGILE....
because we have no trust at all? because we do not appreciate each other? because we do not understand each other? because we do not share our feelings? because we never been thru the difficult times togather? because we physically togather, but spiritually being apart?
I guess....We are not willing to appreciate, maintain & protect this friendship anymore....
That's the main reason i guess....

我们到底怎么了。。。。
我不知道。。。或许我真的是那么的固执。。。但那不就是当初你们认识的我吗？
为何那么久以后，才告诉我你们是那么的不喜欢我？
我不知道我还能怎样。。。放手 - 不去管你们要怎样，要和谁一起，我闭起我的嘴巴，我将我的伤心自己啃，尽管我的脑海一直有你们的出现，尽管我会在半夜突然从那个和你们吵架的噩梦里惊醒，尽管身边的朋友都说别再想了。。。但心里的伤，隐隐约约的还是会痛。。。
你们不明白我在执著什么，我不怪你们。。。毕竟这个世界上不会有一个100巴仙明白自己的人。。。但我依然希望你们站在我的角度去看。。。虽然，我觉得即使你们站在我的角度去看时，还是会觉得我不该。。。或许，在你们的心里，我永远是不对的那个观念已经扎根了。。。
不过，不要紧了，那一切的一切，都不再重要。。。

Uncle, 对不起，将你扯进我们的纷争里。。。
允许我说一句真心话，诚实的面对你们自己的情感吧。
别再这边厢说想和我们一起出去，那边厢却和别人开开心心的一起。
我不想再想任何可能性了。。。
如果你说，有我们，你们会开心一点，为何我感觉到的却不一样。。。是我的感觉出了差错吗？
如果对着别人你们可以那么那么的开心，那么为何对着我们的时候却是心不在焉？
想想。。。忽然觉得自己很笨，当初就那么一个人说我们出来喝茶时，眼中只有电话。抚心自问，我们确实有改过。。。但，你们有珍惜吗？
到现在为止，我还是觉得，无论是友情，亲情还是爱情，都是需要双方面去维系，去珍惜，去爱护和守护的。。。
我不勉强你们去赞同我的看法。。。
确实，放弃一段友谊，多么的可惜。。。
但如果，那一段友谊其实另一方已经不再珍惜，那么就没有什么可惜可言了。。。

谢谢你们，给过我那么一段开心的日子。衷心地希望你们以后开开心心，互相珍惜。谢谢你们。。。

Just wish to say this to someone - Thanks for being honest to me....
but i really feel so tired, as you said, when same channel then talk lo..... until today, i still feel we are wrong channel...
if you feel mad on what i m doing now, please continue... it doesnt matter anymore.
just for your info, i remain quiet but it doesnt mean tat i agree 100% on what you said...
and i m still the one u knew since the 1st day we met, and i will not change because of what you said unless it is right.
my point of view - being as friends, doesnt need to stick around all the time (i agree on that), but it doesnt mean that when see each other also pretend like no see is a good way to treat friend.
So wait i feel we are same channel, or u feel we are same channel then we only talk ba.....

Appreciate what you got and treasure it.... sincerely from me... to every friend of mine....

I think i m too stubborn....
i m a loser.... cannot do what i should do....
why m i so stupid... choose to be sad? and the ppl tat make me sad, stay happy....
worth?
no... not worth
i wan an escape, please let me go~
stop bothering me with their thing... i m tired....
if you wan them to gang with u, go ahead, dun drag me in pls.....
if you wan them to start, go ahead, dun ask me to bcome like, pushing them 2gather....
it's none of my biz....
please leave me alone...........

It's October~

My birthday month~

My sis said october was her lucky month, and yes, when you believe something deeply, it will always become a truth~ she got her promotion as Senior in her company with a shorter period of probation, and as well as salary increment that she never expected. Happy for her~

but for me, october is not my lucky month, obviously~ haha....

this year, been thru so many things.... learnt to be more self protective... learnt to put down something that not belong to me.... learnt to have a better life....

many many things that cannot recall back in a short time... but for sure, now i feel that putting much personal feelings in working environment.. it will just slow down the growing process.... not only to personal, it's also the same to the company....

although i m just an employee... a typical and powerless employee.. but i always do hope the best for the company... and we work the best for company's future... not sure how much the management level can see, but we done our part, and probably the best from us... do hope that they see what we sacrifice for our job~ and pray for the best for our company~

Live simpler, life happier~

~ September 2011 ~

Happy to see my dear at her BIG day!

She was so happy that day, and sincerely i wish you & ah choy live happily ever after!

Love to see you two so sweet~

Oh my dear please remember, put more trust & effort to work for the best future for you both ya~ i will always by ur side when you needed me~ just dont forget me wo~ love ya~

~ October 2011 ~

Time flies....

this month, i waited for so long, for my best friend's wedding~

Congratz to my dear Yen Yee~ happy to see you in your wedding gown, smiling like an angel~ wish happiness always be with u ^^

Sometimes i really wondering, is it my problem or his problem? why should i face such a stubborn ppl? sigh....
i think i m getting high blood pressure everyday!
God, please save me, let his brain open up and understand & rmb what ppl teach him, ok? sigh~

为什么我的泪在流？为什么我那么的不开心？为什么我的心像在淌血？
我们真的不再是一个gang了吗？
是我自己筑起了围墙，还是我们根本就不再是一伙的了。。。
远离吧。。。远离你们。。。或许我的心会不再痛。。。希望吧。。。
坚强吧！爱你自己吧！眼泪不值得为他们而流。。。。。

原来掏心掏肺地对朋友好，到最后，受伤的还是自己，还要被别人说“正所为报应，就比如以后别人用想等的态度对待你，到时别怨天尤人，因为这就是你的报应。。。”！
是你说的，不要要求公平的对待，因为你对人家好，人家未必要对你好，那么现在你说的这一堆废话又是什么呢？
你自己抚心自问，我有对你差吗？是否我就应该被你们冷冷的对待？难道委屈自己陪你们到很多二手烟的地方去喝茶，这也是我们的报应？难道我一直以来的惋惜我们的友情为何走到如此的田地，也只是我自己拿来烦的？如果你觉得我们的报应应该如此，那就算了，做朋友也没有意思了。。。
曾几何时，我也说过，不要再喝茶了，你们有想过我为何那么说吗？我那时的心情何尝不是和你一样？出来喝茶，但一个嘴巴含金，一个恶劣语气，难道这也是报应？你自己有没有反省过为何别人会如此对待你？想想这一切还未发生前你是如何对别人吧。。。
还记得，那天在77，我和你说话，你用那样的语气回答我，我也懒得去生气，懒得去回应你了，不想再伤害我们的友情，但你现在却反过来说“这是我的报应”，很好。。。

"凡是总有正负两面，随着科技的发达，目前的科技可以随时随地的拿起你的手机上网，比起十年前，要上网总是要在电脑面前。。方便的程度，真的十万八千里。爸爸以前总是觉得我们回到家里，“打开电脑，连你爸的名字都不知到时谁” 的态度觉得很懊恼， 我们竟然没放在心里，觉得现在的人就应该是这样。 后来，渐渐的，报应来了，出外喝茶，一些人竟然从一坐下来就拿起他的Iphone, Ipad... I 什么的。完全把身边的人当透明，就连最起码的尊重也没有，跟他说话，看也不看你一眼。 科技的发达，背后隐藏着负面的影响，也许当局人没把现在的危机看出来，正所为报应，就比如以后别人用想等的态度对待你，到时别怨天尤人，因为这就是你的报应。。。 "
WROTE BY ERKANG CHIAN

when u write this, did u ever think wat the cause of we rather play game than talk with u? did u ever think it's how u treat ppl, then how ppl treat u back? as u said, dun ask for fair treat, coz tis world is never fair before? and at ur point of view, u very respect us? when i talk with u & jerry tan, wat response u all gave? rude response! and this is so call how ppl treat u, u treat ppl back the same way? did i ever talk rude with u all? and i should receive this as "BALASAN"????

IF U TWO EVER RESPECT US, WHY WE WANNA TALK WITH U TWO AND U TWO NEVER APPRECIATE? U ALL ONLY LIKE TALK WITH EACH OTHER! AND AS U LIKE, NO MORE YAMCHA SESSION, SINCE U ALL THINK TAT IT'S WAT WE SHOULD RECEIVE FROM U ALL!

最近陆陆续续收到朋友们、姐妹们的好消息，结婚的结婚，买新屋子的买屋子。。
很高兴大家都进入人生的不同的各个阶段，同时也感叹自己还是原地踏步。。。
看着同年龄的姐妹买大屋，凑备人生大事，自己却十划也没有一撇，真愧对自己的人生啊!
心在想为何大家同年，但别人却可以买屋子了、驾美车、到外国旅游、事业有成。。。
真的是时候为自己的未来打算了。。。

It's June... half of 2011 passed.... and still, we achieved nothing...
It's time to plan... it's time to move on...
Looking at my calendar, markers for friend's wedding for year 2011... i know we should move on... to another stage of life...
and we need time, lots of lots of time to plan... hopefully we can make it a.s.a.p...
i was so happy when u told me "yes, we will plan for it!", thank you, my dear~
Glad that we support each others :)

16th May, Monday.... received the bad news once wake up in the morning...

For sure it's a pain loss for uncle... but sincerely i hope he can recover from the pain asap...

Be tough and live his life to the max.... shine himself for his daddy....

we will always support him~~~

I need a green and natural place for me to recharge....

I hate myself full of -ve charges... i need more and more +ve charges!!!