还 记 得 小 学 的 时 候 吗 ?
是 多 么 的 开 朗 ， 欢 喜 ， 无 忧 无 虑的 每 一 天 。 。 。
虽 然 以 前 我 曾 经 被 别 人 说 我 是 ‘擦 鞋 仔 ’ 但 是 我 问 心 无 愧 ，
别 人 不 明 白 ， 不 了 解 我 ， 我 无 所 谓 ， 最 重 要 的 是 我 自 己 活 得 开 心 。
中 学 时 期 ， 我 找 到 了 知 心 朋 友 。
人 家 常 说 :"朋 友 可 以 有 很 多 ， 但 知 心 的 朋 友 却 是 不 容 易 找 到 的 "。
我 庆 幸 我 能 找 到 四 位 好 朋 友 ， 谢 谢 她 们 陪 我 度 过 开 心 时 候 和 失 落 时 间 。
虽 然 我 不 能 说 我 们 一 定 是 知 己 ， 但 最 起 码 我 和 她 们 是 不 需 要 建 立 围 墙 的 。
在 她 们 的 面 前 ， 我 是 我 ， 最 真 的 我 。 。 。
是 我 太 贪 心 了 吗 ?

Dear, i don't know why i have such a feeling...
but i really feel like i have been apart from my friends...no matter is friends from cochrane or friends from UPM or friends from Sam Yoke or PESS....
i feel like heart broken, i should not become so weak and so easy to feel sad because of friends....
but why...this is not the 1st time....
just now when i was looking at friend's friendster photos, tat time oni i realized how dull my life is...
work, work work and work...
no entertainment, no time for me 2 gather with friends.... maybe i shld nt say tat i dun hav time, is friends that dun wanna invite me? or i reali dun hav tat much of frens?
sigh....................
feeling very very down!!!!
any1 can help me?
any1 knows my feeling?
y frens all away from me?
or maybe i shld feel lucky? yday when i asked CY come 2 yamcha with me, yes, i still hav a good fren like her which wil come find me whenever i need her 2 come....
maybe i shldn't be so greedy..maybe i m asking for too much...
sorry dear....i have promised you tat i wil oni write happiness in this blog...
but reali sorry dear...i cannot keep the sadness all in my heart...
not to make u feel sorry for me... not to make any1 changes for me...
is it my problem? m i the 1 make all frens away from me?
what shld i do? God, please tell me....

It's been quite a time I did not log in to my blog.
Kind of busy this few months. We started our 1st job at August 2007 as software engineers at Syscatech.
Dear, even though i am working at the same company with u, but time tat v spend together is less than v used to.
but fortunately, we do not have so much time for arguments. (",)
Dear, i really hope that we can have our own car, our own house and our own family.
but all these need to be done step by step, hehe.
now we have planned to buy car, i m looking forward to sit in our car n go there n here with u fetching me.
okie, looking forward for our car..... hehe...

i dunno what should i say this time....
last nite v had an argument...i was really really tired and hurt...
dear, really hope that she will never b a part of Ur memory...
i admit that i was wrong for accusing her last time. but i was really upset tat time.
thinking back those memory, i would rather delete all from my brain. but i cant
these few days v were not tat happy, i was sorry coz i was nt there when u needed me the most.
i wish u will listen to me whenever i was happy or sad.
i need you as my bf and as my best listener.
dear, sorry for hurting u and myself, sorry for her too.
i really hope that the same situation will not happen to us again.
try to speak calmly next time, can we?
please dear, i think i was doing all my best to save our relationship...
don't leave me alone, don't make our heart apart...
sorry dear...

so tired....just finish rushing my draft thesis...
dear, sorry coz i 'fatt pei hei' yesterday, too stress and too tired.
thank you coz help me finish my draft, else i cant even pass up by today o.
i know these few days we both in bad mood, because of financila problems, because of rushing project, because of too tired, not matter what caused us to be so 'mang',
hope that we can get through it la....
Love ya!!!

Dear, sometimes i m wondering why u never ask me about this blog....
maybe u never feel curious about this blog?
or u forgot wat i said last time??
anyway, i really hope tat one day u will suddenly remember that i told u about this blog,
hopefully u will come n look at what i have written here.... :)
i really hope that u know how i feel...
these few months we are so happy, although we are rushing for our project,
but we manage to avoid arguments.
dear, just wanna let u know....
I am happy having u as my LKC, no matter we are in sweet moment or when we are arguing...
as long as you are by my side, i am happy and that's enough for me...
dear, i miss you... I hope that when u c this page, tell me how u feel and let me know that what i have written here has read by the most important person of mine....
I will really appreciate it, thanks dear.
Love u.... by LPC... <33

dear, just wanna tell u tat i hope tat i can do coding with u at ur house, tat's y i bring my cpu to ur house.
i never think of how situation will become after i put my cpu here, but thg seems like getting worse.
i dun mean 2 use a lot of place in ur room since ur sis also one of the owner of the room.
but when i c those thg around my comp, i reali felt like insecure....
haiz...i dun mean 2 show my unhappiness to u....
sorry....maybe i reali should just stay at home and do coding at my house.
but once again, i wanna let u know tat i wan 2 be at ur house 2 do coding with u coz i reali need ur help in doing coding............ sorry

yesterday, my dear accompany me go jusco shop shop a while coz we are waiting the heavy rain to stop....
i m so surprise when my dear call me 'Lou po" when choosing ingredient for making pudding.
hehe.... i was so happy yesterday...
dear, although u only call me lou po once in a blue moon, but i really like tat feeling...
thanks dear... =)

Last 2 weeks, we had a terrible day when staying overnight at Serdang.
tat day was a nightmare for me....
dear, thanks for protecting me when someone is shouting at me tat time.
i know u really wish to protect me whenever u can with everything u got.
thanks dear, i love u...
i will remember what u did for me tat night... love u forever....

My dear is now helping me to take the printer from Serdang back to Cheras.
I am really happy when he decided to help me take the heavy printer from serdang.
He's taking a thick book with him now and holding the heavy printer as well.
but he does not blame for anything... =)
dear, thanks for helping me.
i think i really should treat him better, haha.

i have decided to remember all the happiness my dear gave me and forget all the sadness...
from now on, i will remember what my dear did for me.
he had bought me a music box for 2007 valentine.
i still remember one day that we waiting bus at serdang, i said i am thirsty and he refuse to go the grocery shop to buy me a drink.
but after that, he had head to the nearby restaurant to buy me a bottle of 100 plus.
i am very happy that time and i feel so warm....although he do not wish to drink, but he buy the drink for me.
now only i realised that my dear is very care about me.
dear, sometimes maybe i didn't tell you how happy i am when you did something for me, but deep inside my heart, i really appreciate what you did for me.
i am lucky to have you as my dear.
let's forget all those sadness that we have been through and start a new day ok?
just wanna let you know that i am really happy to be your girlfriend.
i really hope that one day i can become your dear wife.
dear,i love you with all my heart. (",)
Love you forever!!!

忘了在哪一天， 伤心的我写下了这一段短短的句子。。。
“希望能够到自由的国度。。。
希望能够不受节制地去爱。。。
现在的爱太辛苦了。。。”
我真的很希望能够和他爱的甜甜蜜蜜，很想他的心里只有我。。。
但我也很清楚地知道他的眼里，甚至心里都不可能只有我一个人。
我不明白，为什么女人总是爱的那么的死心眼。有人能够告诉我吗？
虽然现在我和他那么的甜蜜，
但我不敢想也不敢预言哪一天他又会回到当时的他，
狠狠地说“我不再爱你了，我的心已经死了！”。
当时的伤心，绝望，痛得连现在回想起也觉得可怕。
现在的我是多么的希望我和他能长久。
到现在我才惊觉我是多么的需要他，多么的依赖他。
康，我知道我很任性，很自私，很野蛮，也爱发脾气。。。
谢谢你不嫌弃我，谢谢你让我再一次的拥有你的爱，谢谢你的细心，
你的体谅，你的包容。。。
谢谢你让我不孤单。。。我爱你！！！

笨笨的我又做傻事了。。。
上个星期五，我把很多很多的药吞了。连我自己也不懂吞了有多少粒。。。
今天，我竟学起电视剧的情节来了。。。学如何割手腕。。。
我知道我不应该这样地冲动。。。但我就是忍不住。。。
为什么我要这样的傻？ 他根本不会再珍惜我了。无论我做什么，他也认为我只是在给他压力。
白费的。。。为什么我还要这样的傻？
笨蛋！！！大笨蛋！！！
他说：“无论你做了什么伤害自己的事，我也不会觉得对不起你。你只会对不起你的父母。”
我知道我当然没有对不起他啦。对不起的人应该是他。他应该觉得对不起我的，但他反而觉得我应该对不起他。这是什么样的道理啊？！
我只觉得自己很很很笨，笨到了极点了！！！
我的心淌血了。。。

我以为我这两个月里不需要打开这个伤心的日记网页，因为我已经慢慢的习惯了他对待我的方式。
我以为我可以潇洒地离开他。。。但是原来我是那么的不堪一击。。。
我们的限期只剩一个月。我需要他很多很多的时间来陪我。
但是他认为我很霸道，霸占了所有他的私人空间。。。
就连他和他朋友的时间我也霸占了。
他生气了。。。我只能默默的答应他，我不再插手管他的事了。

有没有人能告诉我。。。
什么是爱情？什么是天长地久？什么是永远？

我的心很疼很疼，终于明白什麽叫做心被撕开成千千万万片了。我不明白为什麽我还要这样苦苦地留住他在身边。是不是为了让自己更加心疼？我发现自己好傻。。。
当昨天他告诉我，LW问他一个问题时，我以为是问关于我和他的事。但是原来是问他是否喜欢了 MY。我只能傻傻地笑笑，原来不只是我一个人发现这件事。。。发现了，但又能怎样？他否认。他说，“我现在只是一心要考取好成绩。别的我不想去想。”。这是答案吗? 我不知道。。。
他或许在安慰我，或许在逃避。。。
我不知道要如何去面对MY。我和MY终究还是朋友。要我如何大方地看着他俩嘻嘻哈哈，而我却又能开开心心地看着他俩？

我是一个平凡的女子，我不知道我要求的多不多，可是我最想要的。。。我自己也不清楚。。。

在我以为可以在四年的感情中找到我想要的"东西"之际，我却失去了一切我以为我会永远拥有的人，事，与物。

我真的以为一切是那么的顺其自然地。。。以为我会有一天完完全全拥有他给得一切。他的爱，关怀，呵护，照顾，关心，担心，紧张，彷徨，喜悦，悲伤，烦恼和扶持，我都一直以为我会真的永永远远地拥有。。。

一直到那天的晴天霹雳，我才毅然发现我打从半年前已经失去了一切。

原来，原地踏步的只是我一个人。。。

原来是我令他放弃我们的感情，原来。。。原来我们的感情已经无法挽救了。。。

原来只是我一个人傻傻地沉溺于一段已非属于我的爱情中。。。还傻傻地妄想着"我们的未来"。。。

是时候放了吗? 忘了吗? 死了吗?

我叹息。。。我们的爱来的不易，但却走的轻松。。。

我失望。。。我们的爱原来还不能让彼此互相容忍。。。

我释怀。。。因为我不是最后一个知道的。。。

我无助。。。因为我失去一段对于我来说很重要的感情。。。

我庆幸。。。因为他还肯让我慢慢适应没有他的陪伴，也庆幸身边有一班关心我的朋友。。。

LKC，我知道我的脾气不好，也知道你曾经非常努力地迁就我，包容我。

我感谢这四年来，你用心地伴我走，用心地为我付出许多许多。。。

我知道也承认我付出的比你少了一大截，但你依然默默地为我。

我不喜欢烹饪，你不但不嫌弃反而作起"煮饭佬"，负责我的饮食。我惭愧。。。

我不舒服时，你总是哄我入睡，让我在你温暖的怀抱中沉沉地睡着。

我耍脾气时，你容忍我，放任我。。。都是脾气惹的祸。。。

我真的谢谢你一路来伴着我。。。我会好好地过，不再伤害自己，我会好好地照顾自己。

我知道我不会让你，让我父母和我的朋友担心的。

我真的希望你能好好地学会华语，我会等那一天你看得明白这里我的剖白。。。